Drawing Closer to Myself?

Something I've been really preoccupied with these days are existential questions. Questions like: what kind of artist am I? What choices do I make in my artistic process that define the sort of artist people will see me to be? And perhaps the most "controversial" of all:

"What's my style?"

Now, perhaps here I know what you're thinking. How could pondering about one's art style be controversial? My reason for this is that I've often heard it said that style is not something to fret over, or to waste time trying to define, as it manifests itself naturally. I've also heard it said that style is simply the manifestation of the choices we make as artists that inherently becomes our "style" as we mature as artists. My instructor, Steve Walker is responsible for hammering this idea into my mind.

That said, I kind of find my art, with the exception of my comics and animations, to be a little generic. More specifically, I find my portraits to be a little bland looking and lacking personality. But then again, this could also be me being a little too hard on myself. But wait! Before giving me the side eye, hear me out some more!

You know how when you look at a more mature artists' body of work and you can easily recognize their work from everyone else's.? Wow! Look at that Brian Stelfreeze illustration! Or check out that Frank Frazetta?! Now, I know people don't actually go around saying stuff like that but I'd like to be like that too one day. To achieve this, you just have to keep drawing and that's exactly what I did. With the following thoughts in mind, I made the studies below:

1. Character Design: this might seem a little random but I wanted to see what would happen if I attempted to simplify my interpretations of the original reference photo as a pre-exercise before designing a character more seriously if that makes sense. Now that is not to say that I wanted to make caricatures of the portraits I did, or to draw any of the portraits in an improper manner, but, I just wanted to see, for myself, what would happen if I focused less on capturing every minute detail and it's relation to its respective proportion, or relative shape, and the other more meticulous thinking that is often necessary to capturing the likeness of a person in greater earnest.

   
   

2. I wanted to teach myself how to relax a bit as I tend to hold myself so tight when drawing and wanted to allow myself to make some mistakes and be okay with it. I think some of the greatest characters are made, and have been made this way, and so I desired to create a space for myself one where I could give myself permission to be a little looser, to take a chance or two, to be more confident in my own lines, and to trust what I know.

3. I also wanted to see if I could create different portraits that all had my signature in some way. I hoped with this study I was building up to something where people ( who of course were introduced to my art) would instantly be able to recognize a synergy between the portraits and recognize that they were drawn by the same person.

   
   

4. And, finally, I also just wanted to learn more about myself as an artist. What am I currently capable of and what does my art look like when I make a few decisions of my own versus doing my best to draw more realistic portraits

I have so much I want to say on these like, how I really love the choice to use a tannish color to outline the shape of the turban, or how the stark white light reflecting off the young woman's face, or how the relative flatness of the hair contrasts the more detailed rendering of the face and neck. And of course, I have critiques too but, since I've kinda got a reputation for being a little harsh with myself. I also think that in terms of being looser, some portraits are more successful than the others. (As I truly love it when I capture the likeness of a portrait it really is difficult for me to let go of that intention) but, I guess for now I'll let bygones be bygones.

:)